Wherever You Are

Hi guys!

School is finally over!! Yay!!  I haven’t been writing lately because my heart wasn’t in it. But recently something happened that made me want to write. I have not idea about what. But whenever I feel sad or lost writing has always made me feel better. It’s funny because I would dream about what I wanted my life to be. I was/am a hopeless romantic. So I would always fantasized about the perfect way a guy would ask me to prom and such. But recently, I realized that I didn’t do that anymore and I had somewhat stopped writing because my life is everything I wanted. I finally was in a good place. I finally found a good guy, but somehow I kept convincing myself that this wouldn’t last because these things don’t happen to me. But it did, somehow. And somehow, I thought that being alone is easier than being with someone else because I got to control the pain I felt or what ever else would happen to me. But that’s not how things work. Plus, I’ve learned that you have to enjoy things while they last.

“Every song ends, but is that a reason not to enjoy the music” -Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

I love this quote. Anyway, I figure this is getting long enough. So I’ll talk to you guys soon? If I haven’t already bored you to death 😉

 

Long Distance Relationships

Hey guys!

I know it’s been a while. I’ve been busy with school and now that I have a job at a bakery, my time is very limited between now and the end of school.

Anyway, let’s talk about long distance relationships. The reason why I’m bringing this up is because I know how hard long distance relationship can be, since I am currently in one. My boyfriend is currently living at home for the second summer in a row, and home is 5 hours away from where I  live, which well sucks. Long distance relationship for first timers or for anyone really can be hard and scary, especially when you are aware of the success rate. Honestly, every relationship is different and not every long distance relationship fail. I know a lot that end up succeeding. If you look at the big picture, it definitely is scary. But don’t. Focus on the small things, it’ll make the big things feel less big and scary. For instance, if you are in a long distance relationship try taking it one day at time, take it day by day. And eventually, it’ll be over before you know it.A awesome person gave me that advice. I know for some of you it’s hard to do that, to take it day by day. I struggle with it at times to and that’s normal. It’s normal to miss someone and it’s normal to be afraid. I know long distance relationships are not easy, but in a way they are beautiful and special. They make you appreciate the time you spend with your significant other more than you probably normally would.

What are your thoughts on long distance relationships? Let me know by commenting on this post. 🙂

Lots of love

Lia

 

Self-injury awareness day

Hi guys!

Today is self-injury awareness day. I was going to post this last year, but I wasn’t ready. This year I feel like I am. In the spirits of self-injury awareness day, I would like to share my story with you. It all started 5 years ago, I had a hard time coping with my feelings, especially when I felt anxious or overwhelmed by them. I developed an unhealthy way to cope, which was cutting. Since I was sacred of accidentally cutting too deep, I used paper clips. Somehow cutting made dealing with my emotions easier, by feeling physical pain rather than emotional pain. Over the years, this method became an addiction. It was hard for me to stop. I also got over my fear of cutting too deep and started to use razor blades. Last year, I reached out to my boyfriend and he helped me along with my parents. I gave my razors and bracelets to my boyfriend for him to hide. A lot of people have different ways of overcoming self-harming, such as holding ice cubes, putting your head under water for a while, drawing, the butterfly project, etc. The butterfly project is drawing a butterfly on your wrist or where you self-harm and naming it after a person you care about. If the butterfly fades naturally than it “flew away” if you self-harm the butterfly (that person) “dies”. A lot of those techniques didn’t work for me. I had to face my feelings head on. Once I did that, I felt better. I haven’t been cutting for a year now. Needless to say, that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about cutting from time to time, but the strong urge of doing it faded and it’s easier to control. I’ve decided to share my story today because I know I’m not the only person who struggled with this. And to people who are still struggling with it, you are not alone. I also know, some people don’t understand this, which is normal. It’s hard to understand, but if you know someone who’s going through something similar, just being there for them is enough. Getting clean (stop self-harming) is not easy, and yeah you may relapse a couple of times, I know I did. But if you’re struggling with this, I believe you can get past it. I believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself too. And always remember that you are never alone.

Lots of love

Lia

The Mortal Instruments

Hi everyone!

So, I finished the last book of the Mortal Instruments series called Heavenly Fire. The series was written by Cassandra Clare. The series comprises 6 books; City of Bones, City of Ashes, City of Glass, City of Lost Souls, City of Fallen Angels and finally City of Heavenly Fire. I will not talk about all of the books, simply because this post would be way too long. I will talk about what I like in the last book because I finished it recently and I will also talk about my favorite book in the series. From this point on, there might be some spoilers, so SPOILER ALERT for those who have not read the series.

I will start by saying that my favorite part of the last book (City of Heavenly Fire) was when Sebastian dies and “turns” good for a little while. I thought it was a great moment. We’ve seen the negative side of Sebastian for so long that it was nice to see him being not evil for once. I was very much happy that Magnus and Alec reunited. They are one of my favorite couples. I was very sad when I found out that Jordan died. I loved Jordan and his relationship with Maya.

Now, my favorite book of the whole series is probably the third one, which is called City of Glass. I absolutely loved the Clary and Jace moments in this book. Even though, they do have some hurdles to overcome in the book following City of Glass, I felt like City of Glass was when they finally came together. I also love how everyone comes together; the downworldlers and the Shadowhunters, Alec and Magnus, Jace and Clary.  I mean in my opinion the series could have ended there and I would have been happy. Although, I was sad that Max died, I liked him and would have loved to see him in the other books.

For those who read the series, what were your favorite parts? What book did you like the most? Let me know by commenting on this post. 🙂

Lots of love

Lia

Jet Black Heart

Hey everyone! I haven’t done a music post in such a long time. Does anyone know the band 5 Seconds of Summer? This post is about their song Jet Black Heart. I love this song, every time I listen to it I get chills. Mostly because it hits home for me. My ultimate favourite line is “Everybody’s got their demons / Even wide awake or dreaming”. Every time I hear this line, I’m like “Oh yeah, that’s right everyone is dealing with something,” it reminds me that I’m not alone. Here is the music video for the song. 

 

What song do you relate to the most? Let me know by commenting on this post. 🙂

Lots of love

Lia

Zodiac

Hey guys!

So as I’ve mentioned in a previous post called A Brand New Year, I got several books. One of them was Zodiac by Romina Russell. I saw this book last January when I was browsing Chapters one day. It caught my eye and since I had time to spare I sat down and started reading it. One year later, I finally got it and finished it. For those who haven’t read the book the story is about a sixteen year old named Rhoma (Rho) Grace. She is from house Cancer. Legend says that there used to be a thirteenth house. What if that house really existed and is coming back and it is seeking revenge? What will happen? Will people believe and trust Rho? That was somewhat terrible synopsis. I’m not very good at doing those without spoiling anything.

Anyway, I loved this story because it was cool to imagine how the Zodiac would work and its story, where it came from and how it was formed. It was interesting reading more about that even if a lot of it is fiction.  However, I was surprised by the ending. I was expecting something different. I encourage that you read it.  This is not my best book review. I’m a little rusty on those :P. I will be doing a review of the Mortal Instruments, hopefully that one will be better.

Have you read a book recently? If so which one? Let me know by commenting on this post. 🙂

Lots of love,

Lia

Opening up is never easy

Hey everyone!

These past few days I’ve been thinking about what to share about myself. I realized that I’m afraid of doing just that. I’m afraid of being judged for what I say or of how it might be perceived. All that to say that I’m a very guarded person. But I am trying to change that as terrifying that might be. I have lots of irrational fears. I’d like to think that we all do. Plus irrationality is somewhat subjective in my opinion. One of the things I’m afraid of is people, which is an odd thing because I was quite the social butterfly as a child. As I grew up, I developed social anxiety. I guess high school will sometimes to that to you. We all experience high school differently. I found it hard to make long lasting friends in high school. Now that doesn’t mean I didn’t make some. It just means I wasn’t part of the popular crowd or any crowd really. I was the girl floating in between trying to find her place. I often felt alone.

I’m sorry for cutting this post short, but I’m really tired. Why don’t you guys tell me what you’re afraid of or how high school was like for you? No matter how it was.

Lots of love,

Lia

A Brand New Year

Hello everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I wish you all a happy belated New Year! Sorry for not writing during the holidays. Hopefully school won’t be too busy this semester. Anyway, what did you guys do during the holidays? I spent it with my family and my boyfriend. Over the holidays, my boyfriend got me into D&D (Dungeons and Dragons). For those who do not know that D&D is, to sum it up it’s a role playing game. I don’t really know how to describe it myself other than you role play a character and go on adventures. If anyone is familiar with League of Legends, mlulu_0y D&D character resembles to Lulu. For those who are not familiar with Lulu she is a fae sorceress and she has fairy companion named Pix. The picture on the right is Lulu. Let’s see what else happened during the holidays? The graphics card on my laptop “broke”. Something funny happened to it. It’s hard to explain. I’d have to show it to you.

In terms of presents, I got a lot of books such as The Bane Chronicles & Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare, Zodiac by Romina Russell, Teardrop & Unforgiven by Lauren Kate. I am really exciting to  read all of them. I will be doing reviews on the books once I’ve read them. I got a Lulu plushy because I just think she is so cute and my favorite League of Legends character. I also got a Pandora bracelet and a Pandora heart charm to go with the bracelet and small stuff like money & clothes.

A little side note before finishing this post: This year, I will be working on making more posts about me so you guys can get to know me better.

What did you get for Christmas? Do you have any New Year resolutions? Let me know by commenting on this post 🙂 . I’m also looking forward to hear what you did for the holidays.

Lots of love

Lia

The Beauty Of Friendship

Hey guys,

I’m coming up for air from all that studying to share another short story I wrote for school. I personally love this one and had lots of fun writing it. I hope you’ll enjoy it. Here it is:

I will always love Katie. We were really close. I remember the first time I met Katie. She was not happy. She was really upset, she had a long day and she was tired. She was crying and I went to comfort her. She squeezed me tightly as tears ran down her cheeks. She slowly stopped crying and began to smile. She asked if I wanted to be her friend and I say yes. We’ve been friends ever since. We always got along, okay that’s not true. We mostly got along. We’re different, but the same. She’s funny, cute at times, very stubborn at other times. I’m a good listener and a great cuddle buddy. I don’t move a lot. I would sometimes spend all day in bed. It depended on whether I was spending time with Katie or not. Katie would always make my day brighter. I loved it when she would come over. We would stay up late and talk all night. We would talk about princesses and fairy tales. We would make up our own fairy tales. We once made up a story where my house was a castle and I was the prince and she was the princess. We had to save the kingdom from the evil fae sorceress Lulu. Lulu lived in the enchanted forest and she would turn people into animals, cupcakes, dragons or bats. Lulu with the help of her sidekick Pix, who was a fairy, wanted to take over the kingdom and make it her own personal playground. Together, Princess Katie and I realized that Lulu was lonely and she was only turning people into animals because she wanted friends. We became friends with Lulu and welcomed her into the kingdom and we all became friends forever. Having friends was really important to us. We would have tea parties with our friends. We would invite Marley, Gina and Gerard. We would eat cookies and drink raspberry tea. Things weren’t always perfect, but I was always there for Katie like when we would watch movies together, she would hug me tightly whenever she got scared. She would get scared easily. I remember the many times where we would watch The Little Mermaid and we were never able to finish it because she was always scared of Ursula. She was really proud of herself when she finally watched the whole movie. We had a lot of good moments like those.

As time passed by she started to distance herself from me. She made new friends and would spend most of her time with them. I felt like she had replaced me. We didn’t talk as often as we used to. When she would come over, she would either do her homework or listen to music. We would barely talk, when we talked she would mostly talk to me about boys. It was never as fun as our old conversations. I would see her almost every day and she would not talk to me. I didn’t know what I did wrong. It seemed like she didn’t care about me anymore or that she was embarrassed to be with me. I began spending most of my time alone. There were long periods of time where I was really sad and lonely. I didn’t have many friends besides Katie. So, I naturally got bored when she wasn’t spending time with me, which happened to me most of the time. It wasn’t a good feeling. I would get bored and that would turn into sadness. I would sometimes talk to our old friends, but it would make me feel sadder because it would remind me of the good times we had together. Now that they’re gone, it would make me sad to remember them.  Marley, Gina and Gerard also missed Katie. We would sometimes try to do tea parties, but without Katie it wasn’t the same. When I wasn’t talking to Marley, Gina and Gerard about how much we missed Katie, I would try to entertain myself by making up stories. It would work for a while, but I would get sad and lonely again. With time, things only got worse. It went from little communication to none at all. I miss Katie. I don’t see her anymore because she moved away and she’s doing other things now. I wish her well. It sometimes makes me sad that we don’t talk anymore, but I understand that sometimes people simply grow apart. Katie’s in her twenties now. She gone to University, which I why I don’t see her anymore. She met a guy and is happy, which makes me happy. I’ve come to accept that she doesn’t need me anymore. Even though she grew up to be a wonderful young lady, I have faith that she will always remember her first best friend; Me, Tibbers, her teddy bear.

© 2015, Lia, all rights reserved

I hope you guys liked it. I wish you all a great & happy holiday! 🙂

Lots of love,

Lia

The Loneliness of Being in Love

Hi guys! I apologize for not updating in forever. School has just been really hectic, I had no time. Anyway, I would like to share with you a short story I wrote for my creative writing class. As you can probably tell by the title of this post, the story is called The Loneliness of Being in Love. Fun fact, this is actually the simpler and shorter version of the story the initial story I wrote. I hope you guys like it.

“Jason?” I asked setting my pen down.

“Yes?”

“I know this is a stupid question, but do you love me?” I questioned nervously.

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know, sometimes I don’t feel like you do,” I said avoiding his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we barely spend time together anymore and –“

“What are you talking about? I’m spending time with you now.”

“I know, but we don’t hang out like we used to. I mean I understand you’re busy with exams and the soccer team, but I feel like I don’t matter anymore,” I said looking down at my hands and playing with my bracelet.

“What are you talking about? You think I don’t love you? I’ve always been there for you. Just because we don’t spend time together doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“We haven’t spent time together in about 4 months! It’s either you’re too busy with school, the soccer team or your friends. And I’m not upset that you have those things. I just feel left out when they are your priority and not me,” I said trying to keep my voice steady.

He sighed, “Sarah, what do you want me to say? You –“

“Nothing,” I said getting up quickly and gathering my things, “I want you to say nothing. You know what, I have to go. My mom wanted me home for dinner,” I said as made my way to the door.

“You want to leave fine! Leave!” I heard Jason say.

It was pouring outside when I got in my car. It was really hard to see the road and to tell you the truth I had no idea where I was going. I was just driving. Driving and thinking. I was thinking about everything, about us, about the first time I knew I liked him. It was Thursday night and we were working on an English project together. We didn’t know each other well and I was nervous. We were working at Jason’s place. He kept pitching ideas and I would either nod my head in response or shrug. He was writing some notes down when his pen died and he snatched mine from my hands.

“Hey! Give it back!”

“No.”

I went to grab it, but he kept it out of my reach. I was getting frustrated and after a while he put the pen down and started tickling me.

“Stop it!” I yelled laughing. He stopped and helped me up.

“Come with me, we’re going somewhere,” he said.

“What about the project?” I asked raising an eyebrow.

“Forget about the project for now.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” he simply said with a smile.

We arrived at a board game cafe, “What are we doing here?” I asked puzzled.

“You know, you ask a lot of question for a girl who doesn’t talk much,” he said lightly, “and we are here because we are going to get to know each other and have some fun.”

“Hum, okay,” I said nervously.

Jason picked out the game Othello and set it in front of us.

“Othello?” I asked.

“What’s wrong with Othello?”

“Nothing, I’m just curious as to why you picked that game.”

“It’s a good game to play and talk at the same time.”

“So tell me about yourself Sarah,” he said while setting up the game.

“What do you want to know?” Was my response.

“What are you scared of?”

“Easy, spiders,” I said.

“No Sarah, what are you really afraid of?”

I sighed, “Of being alone, I’m afraid of being alone and that people won’t like me if they get to know who I really am.”

“So what about you? Tell me something about Jason.” I said trying get the focus off of me.

“I make it a point to be honest, because I was hurt by people who weren’t so honest with me.”

What he said struck me. I love his honesty and the way he was comfortable with talking about his feelings. It made me trust him and open up to him more. We spent the night playing board games and telling each other stories until it was time to go home.

“Thanks for dropping me off,” I said to Jason as we walked up to my house.

“It’s my pleasure.”

“Thank you for taking me out. I have got to admit that it was the most fun I have had in quite a long time.”

“I’m glad you did because I did too,” he said smiling, “Have a good night Sarah.”

“You too.”

I couldn’t sleep that night. I was too busy thinking about Jason. He was so honest it made me want to be that honest. It made me want-

A honk pulled me out of my thoughts. I swerved off the road trying to avoid the car that was heading towards me. The last thing I remember was hitting a tree before everything went black.

© 2015, Lia, all rights reserved

Feel free to tell me what you think by posting a comment below :).

Lots of love,

Lia