Today is self-injury awareness day. I was going to post this last year, but I wasn’t ready. This year I feel like I am. In the spirits of self-injury awareness day, I would like to share my story with you. It all started 5 years ago, I had a hard time coping with my feelings, especially when I felt anxious or overwhelmed by them. I developed an unhealthy way to cope, which was cutting. Since I was sacred of accidentally cutting too deep, I used paper clips. Somehow cutting made dealing with my emotions easier, by feeling physical pain rather than emotional pain. Over the years, this method became an addiction. It was hard for me to stop. I also got over my fear of cutting too deep and started to use razor blades. Last year, I reached out to my boyfriend and he helped me along with my parents. I gave my razors and bracelets to my boyfriend for him to hide. A lot of people have different ways of overcoming self-harming, such as holding ice cubes, putting your head under water for a while, drawing, the butterfly project, etc. The butterfly project is drawing a butterfly on your wrist or where you self-harm and naming it after a person you care about. If the butterfly fades naturally than it “flew away” if you self-harm the butterfly (that person) “dies”. A lot of those techniques didn’t work for me. I had to face my feelings head on. Once I did that, I felt better. I haven’t been cutting for a year now. Needless to say, that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about cutting from time to time, but the strong urge of doing it faded and it’s easier to control. I’ve decided to share my story today because I know I’m not the only person who struggled with this. And to people who are still struggling with it, you are not alone. I also know, some people don’t understand this, which is normal. It’s hard to understand, but if you know someone who’s going through something similar, just being there for them is enough. Getting clean (stop self-harming) is not easy, and yeah you may relapse a couple of times, I know I did. But if you’re struggling with this, I believe you can get past it. I believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself too. And always remember that you are never alone.
Lots of love